The Separation Of Church And State Of Mind

Correspondent: Michael O'Brien

According to a recent CNN poll 1 in 4 young American people are currently, "unaffiliated," with religion. Additionally, a staggering 59% of young adults ages 18 to 29 with a solid Christian background have left the church all together.

When asked why, the most common responses cited by today's youth (depending of course upon their individual belief system) regarding their choice of theological separation were that:

● "The church is anti-gay."
● "The church is anti-doubt."
● "The church is anti-female."
● "The church is anti-science."
● "The church is anti-abortion."
● "The church is too judgmental."
● "The church only wants my money."
● "The church is anti-sexual education."

Upon my interviews with the 18-30 demographic (which was in no way scientific with less than 150 subjects) I noted the same criticisms. However, I was afforded clarifications. Here are some expansions offered by our participants I felt noteworthy due to their repetition and consistency. Out of respect and professionalism I've excluded the profanities.

● "As a good Christian I was told by my Bishop at 14 that I needed to actively shun homosexuals, liars, thieves and adulterers but pray for them. That they alone were the root of all evil. At 16 we found out that my Bishop was every one of those. It knocked the wind out of me, and the religion too." Karen D., 19

● "If I'm forced to demand proof in my work, my field, science, I'm going to demand it in a religion. "Believe it because I said so," just doesn't fly anymore." Devon M., 28

● "It has been my experience that the more religious, especially political and religious you claim to be the more corrupt you are." Peter P., 22

● "Christianity (prayer) never offered me any real answers to my issues. However doctors, psychiatrists and pharmaceuticals did. Science saved me, a deity

did not." Sam R., 25

● "I am sick to death of all of this puritanical BS! Where are all of these religious people at the local shelters or local food banks that I volunteer at every weekend and twice during the weekdays? Not there that for sure!" Tracy O., 24

● "I was raised Mormon. My family was expected to faithfully offer the church 10% of our gross earnings even when we couldn't. Now 20% is required to remain in good standing. Someone please tell me, why does it cost money in order for (this) God to like, accept or respect me?" Tammy A., 22

● "I can't come to grips being force fed that I'm supposed to worship a God who is more consumed with who I've chosen to love instead of who I've chosen to hate or harm. Why is it that I'll be forgiven for deliberately hurting or even killing another if I find Christ and ask for forgiveness but not for being gay?" Melinda Z., 21

● "Personally I'm bored with tradition and ceremony. I don't enjoy it at all. Besides, I think the only difference between being a religious person or being a spiritual person is that one person who is more willing to give up a Sunday." Timothy K., 27

● "My parents were hell fire Baptists. Every Sunday I remember thinking, am I the only person who thinks it's weird to force a kid to believe in an all powerful, unseen yet ultimately anthropomorphic entity who I should fear at all times with every fiber of my being? Also one who can't cure my MS but can apparently take Sunday attendance? Get real." Katelynn B., 24

● "The second I find out that someone is a preacher, priest or bishop I'm automatically suspicious. I don't mean to be but I can't turn on my TV anymore without hearing about one of these guys lying, manipulating, cheating, stealing money or molesting a child. If that's the godly level I'm supposed to be striving for then it's no wonder I'm a freaking atheist." Jacob L., 25

● "If I'm to understand this racket, God only focuses on what I do wrong and how he'll eventually punish me in eternal hell. And this is supposed to motivate me how?" Ally G., 18

● "I really don't get this whole Christian or Catholic thing. I think it's about a bunch of self righteous zelots who pick & choose what biblical passages we should all live by. But then gloss right over those passages that allow me to own slaves & beat adulterous women to death with rocks. I especially don't get the part where their God says do not judge, that's my job, but they ignore him anyway. Isn't HE supposed to be their authority? I swear they're more confused than I am. #toomanychiefs" Victoria R., 19 (this portion was extracted from an extended email by the author).

In the studies on atheism I'm familiar with it would appear many younger people are literally screaming the church is suspect if not outright hypocritical and outdated. With that, they seem to feel they are being forced to choose between their intellectual integrity, ideology and their faith. Unfortunately, at 59% intellect may be winning that battle.

I should quickly add this compilation of data gathered isn't offered solely by pollsters but by churches as well. Churches themselves report a substantial decline in attendance based upon baptismal records and their current congregational attendance. Some churches have even reported a variance as substantial as 69%.

We're all aware of the strict traditional stances of the church so what is fueling this sudden separation between church and the newest generation's state of mind? Are our youth seeking a greater education and spiritual understanding while the church seems content resting upon their standard catechism? Or are our youth genetically programmed to question everything about the generation before them? After all, there is substantial evidence that each generation brings with it deeper philosophies and greater knowledge. Evidence to that would be found in how even our generation (40+) perceives the generation of the 1960's.

While there are countless reasonings offered, I believe the true premise to this epidemic is that men of God are no longer respected leaders in our moral and ethical universe. And those that are have been undeniably sullied by the others.

Based upon documented hypocrisy, most have failed in their calling to become a moral compass for any of us. It's also unfortunate that these well known, so called, "spiritual leaders," have become the poster boys of modern religion. Listed below are only a few examples of my hypothesis.

● Westboro Baptist Church - who's premise is anti-gay and regularly frequents military funerals to mock the deaths of fallen heros.

● Reverend Gerry James - charged with misapplication of insurance funds of $450,000.00, DUI and possession of marijuana.

● Pastor Mark Driscoll - who commonly proclaims that women are “inferior vessels.”

● Pastor Rick Warren - who has consistently preached a disparaging anti-gay agenda.

● Pastor Ed Young Jr. - accused of living an overly opulent lifestyle courtesy of low income church member contributions.

● Pastor Eddy Long - an anti-gay preacher who won the top 10 Worst Pastors In America for underage homosexual assault and misuse of funds by The Preacher Bureau of Investigation.

● Reverend Travis Smith - who was charged with raping two teenage girls.

● Priest Eric Dejaegar - who served a five-year sentence beginning in 1990 for nine sexual assault charges of boys and girls ages 9 to 14.

● Pastor Matthew Kidd - charged with homosexual molestation of children.

● Preacher Travis Smith - charged with the molestation of under aged girls.

● Bishop Anthony Jinwright - who will spend the next decade in prison as punishment for more than 2 million in tax fraud.

● Reverend Peter Popoff - a televangelist found wearing an earpiece so that his accomplices could feed him personal information on people in his audience while he was claiming to get those personal messages directly from God.

Now scramble this knowledge in the mind of a spiritually confused or emptied person. Just look at the messages they send and what children may take from them. Obviously I could have gone on for pages with documented accounts of clergy gone bad but I won't. However, I will say the behavior of Catholic clergy alone would have turned this report into an exhausting novel.

This is what our youth are dealing with daily so is it any surprise that like untamed energy they've decided to take the path of least resistance? Again, I'm reminded of Karen D., age 19 who submitted:

"As a good Christian I was told by my Bishop at 14 that I needed to actively shun homosexuals, liars, thieves and adulterers but pray for them. That they alone were the root of all evil. At 16 we found out that my Bishop was every one of those. It knocked the wind out of me, and the religion too."

Face it, the youth of today not only out educate these false prophets on the pulpit but when it comes to purity, social equality, fairness and open mindedness, they obviously feel confident being their own spiritual guides. In their epiphanies they have chosen to abandon organized religion and have either opted for apathy, atheism or to simply exercise their spiritualism independently. Religious home study and volunteerism appear to be an option since both are steadily on the rise.

Apparently this isn't just an unfortunate U.S. movement. In 2005, a WIN-Gallup International poll was submitted and was based on interviews with 50,000+ people from 57 countries and 5 continents. In this poll participants were asked, "Irrespective of whether you attend a place of worship or not, would you say you are a religious person, not a religious person, or a convinced atheist?"

This poll entitled, "The Global Index of Religiosity and Atheism," found that the number of Americans who say they are "religious" dropped sharply from 73% to 60%. Listed below is some surprising and interesting additional information on what their study returned.

● Besides Vietnam, Ireland had the greatest change in religiosity, down from 69% to 47%.

● China has the most "convinced atheists," at 47%, followed by Japan at 31%, Czech Republic at 30% and France at 29%.

● The most religious countries are in Africa (Ghana, Nigeria and Kenya), South America (Brazil and Peru) and Eastern Europe (Macedonia, Romania and Armenia).

● Countries with the same percentage of atheists as the U.S. are Poland, Moldova and Saudi Arabia.

Each of these reports are disturbing to say the least and they would seem to ask these questions.

● "Are we becoming a godless nation?

● "Is religion itself the problem or is its representation?"

● "Can the youth of today return to a salvationist belief and abandon their fringe philosophies? If one can call the absence of faith a philosophy."

For what it's worth, my answers are,  "Yes." - "Yes." - "I certainly hope so."

Interview with Haunted Collector's Jesslyn Brown

By Michael O'Brien

Special Contributor: Aanica Guess

Everyone knows who John Zaffis is and may be familiar with his hit show “Haunted Collector”.  As we get ready for a new season and first new episode tonight at 9/8 C, we decided we wanted to get to know one of those who are lucky enough to work with Mr. John Zaffis.  A request was sent out through Facebook for fans to submit their questions for Ms. Brown and for over 2 weeks we collected hundreds of your [the fans] questions.  These questions sent to Jesslyn Brown have been answered and presented to you unedited.

Please enjoy this most delightful interview featuring Jesslyn Brown from John Zaffis’ “Haunted Collector”

And don’t miss tonight’s first new show of the season Haunted Collector on SyFy

 JESSLYN BROWN INTERVIEW

Anonymous asked: Jesslyn, where were you born and raised?

I was born in St. Louis, Missouri and raised mostly in Winter Park Colorado.

Teresa Born asked: What are your talents other than ghost hunting Ms. Brown?

Something most people don't know about me is that I was a Jr. Olympic skier and 2 time silver medalist in Freestyle Moguls.

Caesar Romero asked: Did you go to a university and what did you study Jesslyn?

I went to college in St. Louis at Webster University's Conservatory of Theatre Arts and majored in Acting. Being from St. Louis I am obviously a diehard birds fan, GO CARDS!!!

Anonymous asked: At what age did you realize you had any curiosity about the paranormal?

The weeks before my mine and my best friends 19th birthdays he passed away in a car accident. Both our families started noticing strange things happening, however I seemed to notice things that they didn't, like thinking an extra person came in the room, or hearing things they weren't. That is when I knew I needed more answers.

Kendra K asked: Are you a skeptic or believer in the paranormal at this point.

I am most certainly a believer at this point. That being said, I do my best not to jump to the conclusion that anything is paranormal activity until I have done my absolute best to rule out every other possibility, and even then belief is a perception, it is in the eye of the beholder, I have these experiences and feel them in my heart and soul, it's hard to explain that to a full blown skeptic until they experience that.

Anonymous asked: From your perspective working in the paranormal field, why do these spirits get trapped here in our realm?

I don't know that there is just one answer for that, lol this is one of my favorite conversations and I think I could go on for hours about it, so I’ll try to streamline my main thoughts on the subject. First off I don't believe that all spirits that we are able to communicate with are "trapped here" I think most spirits come and go. I prefer the term attached when speaking about a spirit that spends the majority of its time in our realm. I think that something, some place, someone, or some task, brings them to us, whether it is unfinished when they pass or they are sent back later i.e., a loved one is in danger and needs protection. Where they go when they leave our world, I'm not sure, I think that is one secret I want to leave untouched until I am an angel myself ;)

Mickey O’Bryan asked: Did you ever experience any paranormal activity as a child?

I can't say for sure, because I don't know that anything is for sure, but I can say that I believe very strongly, as do many members of my family that I had a much stronger gift as a child. I had two, what we believe to be spirits, who came to me when I was about 2 1/2. At first I was very shy about telling my parents they were around and certainly didn't want other children to know about them. Daniel was with me around a year, until he told me it was "time for him to go." And after that I never spoke of him again. Hamba was with me a little longer and when my family moved he told me she "had to stay there." The most compelling memories I have of these spirits are that of genuine emotion they would relay to me about people or events.

Anonymous asked: Do you have any brothers or sisters and how do they feel about you being a Haunted Collector celebrity?

I always think it’s funny when people say that because in no way do I, nor my family consider me a celebrity! I had 3 older brothers, one passed away, which is along with my best friend Phillip the other reason I am so invested personally in my search for answers about the other side. Between the 3 of them and their wonderful wives they have 8 boys & they certainly don't think of me as a celebrity, though they normally have the most interesting questions! They all think I am a little out of my mind lol but they are incredibly supportive!

Tiffany Reed asked: What religion did your parents raise you as and are there any conflicts between the religious beliefs they taught you and your interest / career in the paranormal?

I was baptized and confirmed in the United Church of Christ, which is a very liberal Christian based faith. I was very active in middle and high school in youth group and helped my church become open and affirming (accepting of all no matter what). I think that my understanding in basic religious beliefs and holding some of my own is an advantage for me in the paranormal field. I deal with many religious cases and it gives me a basic understanding from the begging where and how and why they might have been practiced with out judgement. I also believe I am able to keep a more open mind to the paranormal and the afterlife because of my personal beliefs.

Michelle Fife Haggerty asked: What was the most haunted, spiritually active, or intriguing item her and her team have documented and removed to date?

There are certainly a few items from this season that I cannot divulge just yet, but that absolutely blew my mind... For now I will have to say I was most blown away by the entire investigation and the removal of the item at St. Alban's asylum. I felt like we were not only able to take away a trigger item from a criminal spirit in power, but also release some trapped and tortured spirits so that they could move on to the after lift they deserved.

Anonymous asked: Do you think multiple items can be inhabited by a spirit, or only one spirit/energy per one item and can one item have more than one spirit attached? And…Why?

I think that when spirit is involved anything is possible. My team and I, and for that matter the rest of the professional paranormal field do what we do because we don't have all the answers, were just doing our best to figure some of them out. I have personally seen what I believe to be a spirit inhabits several items and I believe as well that several spirits can inhabit just one as well.

Anonymous asked: How did you deal with your own celebrity at the onset?

Hahaha there's that word again... I don't have to deal with it much on the day to day seeing as on the street no one knows who I am, and I am grateful for that. I am a very private person. There are a few funny stories when we have to change our names at hotels in small towns! Other than that my only hardship has been to try and relay to people that I can't be "Jesslyn the paranormal investigator" 24/7 365 days a year. Sometimes I need a break from social media and all that is PARA, after all this isn't my only job ;)

Gramma Tammy asked: As far as you know, can an object find its way back to the person it was meant for if it was given to someone it wasn't intended for?

I'm not EXACTLY sure what you mean, but if you mean original owner, then in my opinion, yes, I think if an object is powerful enough it's energy's potentials are endless. If you mean that it was meant to be passed down to someone or was made for someone and was taken, then I would still say yes, especially if energy is attached.

Michael O'Brien asked: Are you involved with any charitable organizations? If so, which ones?

I do a lot of runs supporting as many charities as I can and volunteer for many others that are close to my hart due to family hardships, some among those are Breast Cancer Awareness (my mom is a Survivor) Prostate cancer awareness (my dad is currently fighting and looking great!) SADD and MADD (my brother was killed by a drunk driver)

Michael O'Brien also asked: In your career, what was the most impressive piece of empirical data presented to you?

I think this is the best question asked of me so far, mainly because I'm stumped. I can tell you the best piece I believe I have collected was an EVP in Virginia... That one you will have to wait for ;) I think I will go with a piece of evidence presented to me by Brian Cano, LOOK for it in episode 3 of this upcoming season!

Debbie D asked: Do you believe in past lives Jesslyn?

I believe in reincarnation. I recently read the book "Soul Survives" a true story about a little boy who was reincarnated from a WWII pilot. If you are questioning the subject, I would recommend the book, it has encouraged me to study the subject!

Megan Mc Corkle asked: Do you do anything special before going to locations to protect yourself from any negative energy that may reside there.

I won't give away all of my personal secrets, but yes, I do "pray" in a sense, that is I ask my god, or my higher power to send my guardian angels (my brother, Sean, and my best friend, Phil) to protect me should anything negative or harmful try to threaten me. I also tell whatever/whomever I have been communicating with at the end of an investigation that it cannot follow me or attach itself to me. It may sound silly, but you have to make it clear that you have the upper hand and clear your head and energy before you leave a location.

Terrie Lee asked: In your opinion, do you believe there is life after death?

Of course, I wouldn't do this if I didn't. There is not a shred of doubt in my heart that souls survive after our bodies are gone. It is the scientific proof I seek.

Dave Q. Schroder asked: Do you believe in parallel universes?

I'm still on the fence about that one! While I think it is a fascinating subject and a great conversation over drinks, I am not quite sure I am convinced, then again, I quite believe anything is possible ;)

Larry Stone asked: When items are removed and sent to the Zaffis museum, do strange things happen there or does it “creep” you out to be where all of the items you have removed are in one location and is there any strange activity where all the items are?

Down in the museum where most of the sealed items are there is very little activity, (mission accomplished) The museum was built specificity to house cleaned haunted items and to keep them blinded from spirit activity. John's office where Aimee and I have a habit of wondering in and finding unbound creepy items laying around is a whole different story!

PandoraParaPublishing asked: Since you have worked with John Zaffis, what do you believe is the most important lesson he has taught you?

I think that respect is the most important lesson that John has taught me. Although he is the "godfather" of the paranormal he acts like an adopted dad to his team (and real dad to some ;) He always makes sure that we are safe. I don't think I truly understood the dangers of my field before or the true power of spirit. The truth is if you don't have respect for the work and every detail that goes into it, you have no idea how fast you can loose focus of an investigation, putting everyone in danger. I now not only have a different approach and respect to my work, my team and my investigation technique, but to each spirit as an individual.

Murial Teter Roby asked: What is the most innocent looking but most personally frightening item you have ever collected?

I would have to say the voodoo doll that we found in the broken tree in the woods of VA at Jordan Springs. I have only seen John react to an item like that one other time and it looks as innocent as well but you will have to wait until season 3 for that ;)

Anonymous asked: What are your plans for the future following The Haunted Collector?

It's hard to say because we never know if there will be more HC or even when exactly our current season will end! All I know for certain is that I will return to Los Angeles and I will continue to audition for film and TV like I was when I was approached about HC, basically return to life as normal, when I'm not a PARA-Nomad!

Connor Brandon asked: What was your funniest moment on Haunted Collector?

Oh man, there are so many! I hate to tell y'all, but 99.9% of the time we all like each other quite a bit lol! There are probably more times a day than the producers would like when we have to stop rolling tape because we're all messing around. Sometimes we fake interview each other, Aimee sings and dances about any mundane situation, I fake cry about nothing, Jason talks for 30 minutes about his application to be a glitter twin, Chris and Brian play light saber with their cellphones and John loves to break it down with mad dance moves!

Cody Little also asked: When you gather paranormal items, how do you keep everything contained that are not under glass? Do you shut the door and smudge the entrance?

This is mainly Johns area of expertise so I can't elaborate too far... We do have to travel with items sometimes for a while before they are put completely to rest at the museum. As far as the item itself goes, there are binding and protecting rituals done on each one before they are surrounded in sea salt and contained in glass. The museum was also designed to house the items, there is very little activity there. I also know that John has some location rituals that keep all of us and our clients safe and the property bound after the item is removed, but again, he is the expert in this sense, and I have not learned all his tricks just yet! I can say we have had some weird things happen while traveling with some of those items!

Anonymous asked: What is the tattoo on your right wrist? What does it say and stand for?

I have a tattoo on the inside of each of my wrists. The left says "P&J" with an infinity sign below and it stands for Phil and Jess forever. The right says "dheartháir" and it means dearest brother in Irish Gaelic, and is for my brother Sean. Phillip was my best friend in the world from almost birth, he died six years ago and started contacting me immediately.  My brother Sean passed away two and a half years ago, and made my search for answers that much more important.

Tammy from Omaha asked: How did you get the job with Haunted Collector? What were your credentials that got you on the show with John Zaffis and his family?

I got a very surprising phone call out of the blue one day asking to come into speak with the producers of the show and answer some of Johns questions because he was looking for a new team member and liked what he knew and had seen of me. The Paranormal world is not a very big one, and we had mutual friends. What gives me the "credentials"? I don't know that paperwork is what it is about... technique in this field can only be taught and learned through experience and I believe I have, for one reason or another, been chosen by the best mentor out there. Whatever it was he saw in me, I don't know, I guess that's a question for him. But I am thankful every day that he did because if it weren't for John Zaffis, I would have given up on the paranormal and the answers I seek in my own personal battles.

Taylor from Taylor Ranch asked: Jesslyn, do you ever feel frightened or threatened on the set of Haunted Collector?

Threatened? Rarely, and if so, only for a moment, we do everything we can not to put ourselves in threatening positions... Frightened? sometimes. i always thought this would get easier, but as it turned out, the more I explore my sensitivity, the less comfortable I am being alone in locations. The more cases we do the more intense experiences I have and the more my sensitivity grows... For the most part, something whispers in my ear I'm like cool! Something crashes and I go running after it, I'm just a little more cautious to look in the room before I go barreling into it now! Though there will be one moment this season where you will see me completely and utterly break down. I was not frightened, I was terrified, and whoever was most certainly threatening me, whatever spirits were with me.

Tomas Griego asked: Are you married and how does your husband or boyfriend feel about you being put in dangerous situations on Haunted Collector?

I am not married, though I do live with my boyfriend. I think he's used to it, he knew what he was getting himself into. He tells me every night to have fun and be careful, he is incredibly supportive! Though he will call me in the missile of the night when I'm on the road because HE has just had a nightmare about MY scary stories! My parents on the other hand make me txt them After every night investigation!

9 year old Hunter Chase O’Mally asked: My mom doesn't like for me to watch your show but I do. She thinks it scares me and gives me nightmares but it doesn’t I promise Jesslyn. She is letting me ask this question. My question for you is, “What is your favorite book you ever read?” And if I’m allowed to ask one more question, “What is your favorite color and movie?”

Well Chase to your mom I say thank you! I think it's great that she cares :) I have 8 nephews and most are right around your age. They love the show, it spooks them at times, but I remind them that if you watch it your home can't become haunted ;) right now my Favorite movie is Paranorman, he makes me feel like weird is normal, and what I do is OK and acceptable and I think it's a great message. My favorite author is Dan Brown, while he writes fiction I love that he opens my eyes to the wonders of the mystery behind culture and challenges me to explore it for myself. I cannot tell a lie, however, I think the Harry Potter books will always be my favorites, I will read and retread them for the rest of my life, they are so magical and so real all at the same time! I love every color, I don't want to hurt any of their feelings by saying I have a favorite, but I am quite fond of blue.

Leslie Short asked: Are you planning to write a book about your experiences in the paranormal.

I journal often while on the road, in fact I am writing these responses in my journal. I think often about one day turning them into some sort of organized thought, but I feel that I am not sure just yet of the direction of my thoughts. To plan is to "make a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something" so the answer is yes and no! I am one day hoping to, however I am only in the note taking process, so who knows!

St. Malachy And The Prophecy Of The Popes

Author: Michael O'Brien
Special contributor: Aanica Guess

Lightning Striking the Basilica 

St. Malachy was the Irish Archbishop of Armagh in 1132.  As a saint, he was accredited with several miracles and was believed to hold profound psychic abilities.  Especially pertaining to the Vatican.  St. Malachy would go on to write down his visions whereby creating what is called, "The Prophecy of the Popes”.

From a dream, St. Malachy wrote his prophetic manuscript that consisted of a list of 112 illustrious pontiffs who would to go on to rule the Catholic Church until the end of time.  It goes on to list each pope’s importance to history and of course, predictions regarding each of him in short Latin diction.  These prophecies not only described each of the Roman Catholic popes to rise, but exposed the anti-popes as well.  St. Malachy noted these anti-popes began with Pope Celestine II and would conclude with the current Pope Benedict XVI's successor.

The abdicated pope [who is Pope Benedict XVI now] according to the Prophecy of the Popes is translated in short as "He will nominate a man who is described in the prophecy as "Peter the Roman”.  A pope whose pontificate will end in the destruction of the city of Rome."

St. Malachy was proven accurate in his prophecies.  Credibility to that statement might be found in the arguments that were made that St. Malachy addressed only 111 popes in his visions.  This contention would have made Pope John Paul II's successor, Pope Benedict XVI the final pope, aka, "The Beast.”  So it is understandable that the Benedictines would have invented pope 112 to dissociate their order from the, "Peter the Roman.”  However, little has been offered to substantiate the 111-pope theory and most believe that there were indeed, originally 112.

Therefore, you ask, "What does all of this have to do with me?”  Well, let us discuss for a moment what happened the last time the Catholic Church ran amuck with absolute omnipotence.

First, there were Dark Ages where the Catholic Church slaughtered over 150,000,000 Christians for their beliefs, or lack thereof.  Forgive this contemptible comparison but realize Hitler killed 6,000,000.  An overwhelming difference of 144,000,000 deaths.

Second, the Inquisition.  A tribunal established in 1480 by primarily Catholic Monarchs.  It was intended to maintain Catholic orthodoxy by any means and lasted over seven centuries.  While it was officially abolished in 1834, it is said that the deaths or executions told ranged from 2,250 to 9,000,000.  Quite a variance, I understand.  However, the hands of the Catholic Church committed what deaths that did occur then.  Interestingly enough, the office of the Inquisition continues today under the name “Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith."

What of the churches behavior towards the Knights Templar, Jan Hus, John Wycliffe, Galileo, Joan of Arc, William Tyndale and during the Medieval Witch Hunts?  All of which were persecuted by the Catholic Church, if not tortured and executed for their beliefs.

Currently, the Catholic Church continues to deal with the constant shame of the rape and molestation of countless young boys.  What is worse, the fact that Catholic hierarchy insisted on covering up the allegations and secretively sending their Bishops to new communities with new victims.  My point is just how profoundly effective the Catholic Church was and continues to be in covering their atrocities for so many years.

Now we find ourselves preparing for a new pope to be named before Easter.  As I understand it, there are five front-runners for the position.  Ironically, three of which are Roman.

My guess would be either Cardinal Angelo Scola Archbishop of Milan or Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, Archbishop of Genoa, Italy will be chosen.  However, Cardinal Angelo Scola would be more in fitting with the prophecy of the Anti-Christ.  It is predicted that the anti-pope will win over the hearts and trust of the Muslim world in short time and then will corrupt it.  With that said, Scola is considered a top scholar on Islam and Muslim to Christian dialog.  In addition, that he is well prepared to deal with the challenges regarding Western secularism and materialism.  

Bagnasco is more along the lines of Pope Benedict's best friend as I understand it but he still had a fighting chance.

So, what would prompt a Catholic girl to write such an article?  It is simple really.  Just take a good look at the photos of lightening striking the top of the Vatican's St Peter's Basilica twice just hours after Pope Benedict XVI announced his confusing resignation.

While the majority made jokes about it, that incident spoke volumes to me.  It also begged to ask, "Is there any reality to St. Malachy's prophecy?”  "Is the Anti-Christ lurking in the shadows waiting to be announced and adored by millions?”  Better yet, could God have been unleashing the equivalent of, "Wake and realize!  Something wicked this way comes?"

I do not know but I am certain of this.  No newly elected pope in Rome in his right mind this year will choose to change his name to Peter.

Spectrophilia or Spirit Rape Phenomenon or Psychoses?

Warning: The subject material included may be offensive to some readers.

Author: Michael O'Brien, Special Contributor: Aanica Guess

In 1982 a feature film was introduced to the US theaters entitled, "The Entity." This was a story detailing Doris Bither's personal accounts of Spectrophilia or rape by spirit. For those who don't recall the movie, allow me to summarize it for you.

In Culver City, California 1974, Doris Bither, a mother in her mid thirties reported supernatural activity to Parapsychologist, Dr. Barry Taft. Doris' three sons, then ages 10, 13 and 16 and 6 year old daughter also made claims of supernatural presences. So often that her youngest children actually named some spirits they claimed to regularly witness.

The most significant spiritual account was presented by Doris Bither who made claims of incessant spectral rape. More specifically, ghostly rape by three entities in total. Doris claimed that two smaller entities held her down while a taller, more aggressive entity sexually accosted her on a regular basis.

In defense of Doris Bither, her sons and boyfriend did substantiate the attacks she consistently reported. In fact, her eldest son claimed being thrown across the room during one of these alleged rapes. More impressive would be that thirty plus university professionals and investigators documented countless instances of paranormal activity, visually, mechanically and photographically. Furthermore, there were numerous photos of Doris Bither's physical injuries as a result of these reported rapes.

While I agree there was substantial evidence supporting Doris' accounts, I also believe there was much evidence to speak to the contrary. Now, I'm in no way calling Doris Bither a liar, however, logic should always question what speaks to ones credibility. Moreover, the state of mind of any witness, so I'll do that and play devils advocate here.

My first example would be that Doris was an admitted, chronic alcoholic. As most of us are aware hallucinations can be commonplace in the later phases of this disease. What's worse, eventual psychoses has been fully documented. Secondly, Doris was a survivor of both emotional and physical abuse by several of her ex-partners. It was also reported that she suffered mental abuse by her parents. Perhaps these experiences alone made Doris somewhat susceptible to a victim complex. To add to that, conjectures of childhood sexual abuse were strongly suspected by university officials pertaining to Doris. However, those suspicions were ultimately unsubstantiated.

Here are other lesser known facts of Doris Bither and her family that I present for consideration only. Both Doris and her children reportedly lived in utter squalor in their Culver City home when university investigations began. Not a dilapidated home mind you, they simply lived in their own filth and little was done to remedy that. Not even under the eye of scrutiny. With that, one could easily suspect a deep depression on the part of Doris Bither. Again, as most of us are aware, alcohol is a depressant.

It was also confirmed that Doris had a terribly contentious relationship with all three of her sons. Curiously, her younger boys were smaller in frame and her eldest, taller and more aggressive. Much like Ms. Bither reported spectral sexual aggressors. [note: the author is not implying incest within the Bither family whatsoever]

Another interesting fact is that paranormal activity reportedly increased with Doris' alcohol consumption and almost ceased to exist when she was sober. This fact alone should prompt the most curiosity in my opinion. Lastly, there have never been any reports whatsoever of paranormal activity by any other residents of Doris' old Culver City residence that she and her family eventually fled from.

With that information presented, do you believe Spectrophilia is indeed a possibility? Is there such a thing as as rape by Incubus let alone spectral gang rape? Could chronic alcohol abuse have prompted both visual and physical hallucinations in Doris? Could Doris' accounts be nothing more than unspeakable memories and nightmares paired with sleep paralysis? Alternatively, could Doris' past trauma and chronic substance abuse have created her paranormal activity? Is it possible that Doris' life experiences were so profoundly impacting that she literally created her own poltergeist[s]?

Another question I've heard posed is, "Could Doris and perhaps some of her children have been psychic, essentially making their experiences together the perfect paranormal storm?" Inasmuch, "Could this entire ordeal have been nothing other than psychokinetic energy manifesting itself as poltergeist activity?"

I'm uncertain but listed below is a recent personal account of Spectrophilia that prompted this article. This is an interview with a woman who believes she has been sexually accosted for over two months by what she claimed was an, "unseen assailant."

For anonymity, we'll call this woman VB. Listed beneath this article are her accounts in Q&A form. MO is Michael O'Brien.

MO: How old are you V?

VB: I'm 34 on Tuesday.

MO: Well, happy birthday. Are you married V?

VB: No, I'm single.

MO: Do you live alone or do you live with a roommate?

VB: I live alone now. Well with the exception of my cat Murry. I inherited my grandfather's home and I just moved in there about two and a half months ago. Murry kinda came with the package I guess.

MO: For curiosity sake, how old is this home you inherited?

VB: According to my mom it's about 125 years old but I'd have to double check. I don't remember. I think that's right though.

MO: To the best of your knowledge has there ever been any documented trauma associated with your family home? Homicides, suicides?

VB: Not that I know of but my family has been kind of tight lipped about its history. Maybe that's for a reason, maybe not. Who knows but I really don't know.

MO: Do you consider yourself a religious person V?

VB: Ummmn,....no.......not at all.

MO: Excuse the sensitivity of this next question but have you ever been sexually abused or experienced any sexual trauma in your past V?

VB: I'd I prefer not to answer that.

MO: I'll respect that. May I inquire as to your educational level?

VB: I don't know why that matters either but I have a Bachelor's Degree in Special Education.

MO: To the best of your knowledge is there any history of sleep walking or sleep paralysis in your family?

VB: No...... No, wait......one of my uncles did walk in his sleep......even as an adult I think. Sorry bout that.

MO: That's okay. Do you currently or have you ever suffered from any mental instability?

VB: No, but in light if what's been going on in my house and the fact that I'm not being believed by anybody is causing me some instability. So ya,... ya, I've spent two and a half months crying my eyes out. That's a bit unstable I guess.

MO: I'm sorry to hear that but I need to ask this. We'll get to that other part shortly just allow me to clarify my last question. V, have you ever been clinically diagnosed by a licensed therapist or psychiatrist?

VB: Yes. Depression in my twenties. My fathers passing was a big issue for me.

MO: Mild or chronic depression V?

VB: In the middle of that somewhere I guess.

MO: Were you treated with medications or therapy? Or both?

VB: Both.

MO: Do you feel your depression has been effectively treated?

VB: Honestly? For the most part it comes and goes sometimes but it hasn't been so bad I think about going back for treatment. Well, until now. Until recently I...... never mind....just go ahead Michael.

MO: Do you abuse alcohol or take drugs, prescription or otherwise V?

VB: To be honest, I'm on a prescription pain medication for lower back problems from an accident and yes, I've started drinking a little more since my move. Especially since my move.

MO: What type of accident?

VB: Auto.

MO: Did you experience any head injury as a result of this accident V?

VB: Ya, a pretty good concussion but my back and jaw were hurt the worst.

MO: You said, "Especially since my move." Was this an exceptionally stressful move for you?

VB: Yes. My mom passed away about a year ago,...we weren't all that close at all......but anyway......that's why I inherited my grandpas house. So I'm still sorting some of that out. Plus I've always hated that house but I was forced to move in it due to financial reasons. That's screwing with me too and I think all of that along with the physical act of moving itself....things have been a little harder on me than I thought. But I suppose the things that are going on in that house are shaking me up the worst right now. I just don't need any of this. I didn't even think this crap was possible.

MO: V, binge drinking is considered four or more drinks at one sitting. How much are you drinking?

VB: Ya...... something like that.

MO: You do realize that a death and a move or relocation ranks in the top five for emotional trauma don't you?

VB: Yes.

MO: Now add to those substantial traumas binge drinking and pain medications. It makes for one potentially troubling mental concoction. Don't you agree V?

VB: I see what you're doing Michael. You're trying to make it look like I'm unstable or not thinking clearly when I'm absolutely not!

MO: V, you have admitted that you're fairly troubled at this point but no, no I am not. I'm attempting to offer our readers all the information I possibly can that will assist them in making a fair and educated decision or opinion about your testimony today. After all, you've got to admit, your story is somewhat difficult to digest.

VB: Okay....I.... Alright, I under... No, I get it. Alright. Let's just do this please.

MO: Thank you V. I appreciate your patience. Now if you're ready, please relay your story to our readers and I won't interrupt you unless I need clarification okay?

VB: Alright. I'll make it as quick as I can since I really don't care to repeat all of this again.

About two and a half months ago I moved into my grandpas house. Everything was fine... Well I was nervous about being in there and having to sleep there but everything was going okay. Four days later when I felt I was easing up, I went in the kitchen and realized my blue silverware rack wasn't in the kitchen drawer where I put the day before. It weighs a lot and I know I didn't move it into the living room. That's where I found it. Why would I do that? I wouldn't and didn't do that. Anyway I shook it off but not really. Yes, I did wonder if I did drink a bit too much so I went on with my chores. A few hours later....I really don't remember.....Maybe two-three hours later I went in my bedroom and saw something odd peripherally in my master bathroom. I went numb when I realized it was all the decorative pillows from my bed. All six of them were piled neatly on my toilet. That terrified me but when I realized the toilet seat was up, I freaked. I seriously freaked! There were no men living in my house! Well needless to say I left the house and didn't return till the next day. I slept in my car but I quickly realized no matter how scared I was that sleeping in there wasn't much better. So I reluctantly went back there. Besides its not like I could afford a hotel.

Anyway, nothing happened until about two days, well nights later. I was watching a movie in my bedroom and fell asleep. I didn't know what woke me up but I thought I heard something loud..... but I wasn't sure. As I tried to drift off I heard it again......loud banging sounds coming from what I thought was my dresser. Like my drawers were being opened and slammed shut. I turned on my light and realized that some of my private drawers were completely open! At that point I....

MO: I'm sorry. What do you mean by, "private drawers?"

VB: My panty and bra drawers. Anyway nothing else happened that night. I just thought maybe I dreamt it or imagined it by the next morning but I knew I didn't. Anyway the next night was the first night I felt that I was touched for the first time. I was asleep and I woke to someone touching my breasts. What really freaked me out was my arms weren't totally in my night shirt and it was pulled up to my face! It's like it was half on and half off! I don't know how but somehow I broke it's grip and I got away. Anyway I ran into the bathroom and hid for the night. I should have just left again. I don't know why I ran into the bathroom. Anyway I spent the night in there with the door locked and I tried to sleep in the tub.

Okay, so nothing happened for almost a week. It almost got to the point that I thought,.... "ya, maybe I have been drinking too much and maybe none of this crap was real." That is until I went to the market one day and came home unloaded my bags. As I did, I heard this loud deafening bang in the far of the house. I swear I looked forever but couldn't figure out what I actually heard! Anyway later that night I was watching TV and turned to look at the clock on my wall for the time when I realized my clock wasn't there! And it's a huge freaking clock Michael! What was there.......what was there....was my left tennis shoe hanging off the nail that my clock was supposed to be fu**ing hanging from! Don't tell me I didn't see that or missed it! Who wouldn't see a tennis shoe hanging from the fu**ing wall Michael?! Who?! Seriously...and I've yet to find my damn clock! And before you ask if it was me who did it in some kind of drunken stupor....realize I'd need a ladder to even reach that clock!

Anyway that same night I did Michael....I drank like a freaking fish. Judge me if you have to. I had to forget about all of that crazy s**t! A shoe on the wall?.....Really?...Really? Anyway I don't exactly remember going to sleep or when I did but I certainly remember waking up! On some level I must have known what was going on in my sleep because when I woke up I was already panicked! I was crying uncontrollably and hyper ventilating! My arms felt like they were pinned in back of my head and both of my legs were spread completely open wide! Almost to the point my hips were aching! It felt like I was being split in half! And for a few seconds I felt like I was being penetrated...but with a hand....a hand?.........fingers Michael?

Then...... just like that.....it was over....just that quick....it was done........

MO: What did you do then V?

VB: I crawled from my bed and locked myself in the bathroom again for the night and cried and cried and cried. I was paralyzed. I just sat there and shook and cried in my tub.

MO: What happened next V?

VB: Nothing.......nothing happened for almost a month. I mean.....ya.....there were some weird happenings around the house......but nothing like when I was attacked. I did have two extremely sexual dreams that I was confused and even disturbed by.....they seemed so real.........you know?...Then......ya......too scared to sleep in my room, I was sleeping on the couch.....that seemed to work.....and it happened again. I'm not gonna beat a dead horse so imagine what my last attack was like then multiply it by two. I know you don't want me getting to graphic. Anyway, that was it. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't take it. I was either totally fu**ing nuts or this was really happening to me. So I packed up and moved out.

MO: Where are you living right now?

VB: In a studio apartment. It's all I can afford.

MO: Have you thought of a house blessing or anything along those lines V?

VB: No.......I just really......I just......I just don't know Michael.

MO: Have you had any other occurrences since your last attack?

VB: No.....nothing.

MO: Do you plan on returning to your home V?

VB: No. I'm selling it. I'm done.

I'm certain the reader can tell at this point there was much of this interview with VB that was omitted. Either for time restrictions or graphic content.

Despite that, unlike Doris Bither, VB claims this, "unseen assailant," did not follow her to her new residence. If you recall, Doris not only claimed the entities followed her, but at one point she alleged one actually impregnated her. [side note: according to her doctors it was a ectopic or, "hysterical," pregnancy]

So, I'll leave it to the reader. You have the facts before you. Do you believe Spectrophilia is a legitimate phenomenon or a clinical psychoses?

Pilot Fish: A Tale of Psychic Medium Joanne Brown

By Michael O'Brien
Special Contributor: Aanica

Pilot Fish

(A small slender marine fish that often swims in company with larger fish, especially sharks)


For some time now, my colleagues and I have worked to expose these so called, "Celebrity Psychics”, for what we believe them to be; unrepentant predators that prey upon the emotionally and financially bankrupt.
Now before you hard-core believers pounce, I am not suggesting psychic abilities are out of the realm of possibility. I am simply stating there are opportunists with financial agendas that know no ethical or humane boundaries. Those are who we target and why we attempt to expose them.

Evidence of their corruption to me would be found in the answers to these questions.  If some do possess genuine psychic gifts, wouldn't it be an affront to their God to exploit those for cash?  Call me naive but I have incessantly pondered that question.  Also, if they must charge why not ask for a donation at the readings completion? A, "You get what you pay for," type of agreement? All right, I suppose that last question was somewhat rhetorical.

At any rate, in my efforts to pursue these dominate predatory sharks I failed to consider the impact of the minor, self-professed, "Psychic”, bottom feeders that swim alongside them.  You know those slimy pilot fish that are insignificant in comparison to the likes of Coffey or Caputo but depraved parasites nonetheless.

Now I admit discounting these infinitesimal trash fish was a mistake on my part. Although perhaps pardonable since they do take cover quite nicely within the shadows of larger prey. In any event, they are hidden no more.  There should be absolutely no distinction between these calculating charlatans. Both leave countless emotional casualties within their wake inasmuch, financial ruin for many of those victims.

With that said, allow me to relay a recent encounter I had with a supposed psychic.  In November 2012, my friend approached me with a desperate favor. It seems her 87-year-old father was murdered.  He was found hanged in his barn by an unknown assailant(s).  What's more, the Coroner reported it took him a minimum of ten minutes to expire and documented it.  This was apparently due to the lack of fractures or breaks within his vertebrae. With this tragic news, she asked if I was aware of any worthy psychics, she could seek for answers.

Reluctantly I informed her I only knew of those on Facebook who claimed psychic abilities. Hoping to detour her I also advised her they offer their services at a substantial cost with no promise of results. Despite my efforts, she remained motivated. She asked if I would read off a few names and I hesitantly complied. She stated she would then choose what name, "spoke to her.” It is this level of thinking I refer to as, "The first drop of blood in the water.” You may as well start humming the score from Jaws.

Anyway, after I rattled off ten or so names she finally agreed on one.

Psychic Medium, Joanne Browne ghostgabbers2004@yahoo.co.uk Website http://mediumjoannebrown.webs.com/A psychic who just happened to be available for readings at that time. Believe me, this coincidence did not go unnoticed by my friend and only cemented her decision. She went on to say that, she also chose Ms. Brown in part since she once worked with a Joanne in the early nineties. With that assertion, my protective nature kicked in to high gear and I could not allow this to go any further.

I asked my friend if she would offer me a some time to check this Joanne Brown out before she went any further.

I felt she was just too desperate and vulnerable to make decisions at that time. How I would go about investigating this woman, I was not certain but I knew I had to act quickly. That I did. I contacted Ms. Brown online and stated that [I] wanted a reading instead of my friend.

From the jump, this was an awkward experience for me to say the least. In fact, one of her first comments to me was how she was suspicious or confused about my intentions. It seems she was surprised that I was serious about actually wanting a reading. It is not that I did not believe in her claims of psychic abilities. In fact, I was totally prepared to offer her a fair shot. Though one must admit after reading this that it is comical her initial inclinations were the only correct psychic premonitions she offered me.

Anyway, instead of detailing my experience with her first hand, I have attached the email I was compelled to send Joanne Brown.  The email has been condensed for time and space purposes but I think you will get the point.  I hope that you will be just as appalled as I was.

Ms. Brown,
You may recall our recent online encounter.  We spoke Friday, November 16 at 4:24 p.m., New Mexico time.  During which time you gave me a psychic reading after informing me your fee was $20.00 (USD) for 45 minutes.  Do you recall our encounter?  If not, allow me to refresh your memory.

A bit of advice?  It would certainly behoove you to read the entirety of this correspondence.

First, at precisely 4:30 p.m. you began your psychic reading. Near this same time, 4:34 p.m., you began chatting with your Facebook friends corresponding with them several times.  Not very professional but then again there are larger issues here that I need to address.

Now, I'm certain you can agree that never at any point during this read did you offer me one piece of accurate, precise or valuable information.  Evidence of that last statement would be found in your panicked proclamations to your Facebook friends demanding help.

Next, I am not certain which part of your reading I was more confused by.  You finally asked, "Do you sing?”  You asked that question out of sheer desperation I am certain.  After all, who doesn't or didn't sing once in their lives?  On the other hand, the fact that you informed me that a man in an asylum was following me.  Seriously, Ms. Brown, what if I were mentally fragile? How do you suppose that statement would have affected me?

Second, while you did claim phone issues, you were absent without leave for 43 minutes during our entire 45-minute conversation.  In addition, these periods do not reflect the incessant pauses on your side of the conversation.  See times below.

4:34 - 4:41 (7 minutes AWOL)
5:00 - 5:09 (9 minutes AWOL)
5:09 - 5:36 (27 minutes AWOL)

Okay, so I have been allowed to vent.  Thanks for your patience.  Now allow me to get to my point. As you know, my name is Michael O'Brien.  What you might not know is that I am a Paranormal Correspondent for several sites throughout the Web. Many of which you may be familiar with.

In fact, over the past year we have been working on an article whereby exposing fraud within the psychic community. Inasmuch, the disastrous effects their behavior can have on the fragile human psyche as well as their checking accounts. Now, while you are in no way considered a heavy psychic hitter, we are seriously considering you. Here is why.

While yes, you failed miserably throughout the entirely of your reading. While yes, I adamantly believe your telling another that someone dead in an asylum was somehow interested in them was beyond reprehensible. While yes, you were intermittently involved with this reading time wise. I can honestly say the part that offended me the most is that you took someone else's money, offered absolutely nothing of merit in return and NEVER so much as offered an apology, let alone any other concession.  A new reading, a refund?  Nothing. Your silence to was akin to, "Thanks for your cash, now get lost."

Ms. Brown, all you had to do was apologize to redeem yourself or maybe even offer a small concession but you could not offer something as basic as that.  I am not certain I understand, can you not feel shame or regret?  In any event, enjoy our $37.00 euros.  Personally, you cost me nothing other than my time.

Michael O'Brien

Ms. Joanne Brown's response to my email eight days later was, "I'll refund you asap.”  Nothing more though I did thank her.  However, what happened next surprised even me.

Instead of refunding my meager twenty dollars, Ms. Joanne Brown chose to block me from her page and pulled her "Psychic Medium," proclamation from her name.  She is now, "Joanne Brown, Ghost Hunter”, the last I checked.

While I do despise repeating myself, to me Joanne Brown is the antithesis of these, "bottom feeders”, I referred to. Remorseless sponges who prey upon both the hopeful and the hopeless equally. Truthfully, I am uncertain which is more pathetic.

Too harsh of an assessment you say? No, the fact that this woman hid like a craven when confronted with her ineptitude and deception speaks absolute volumes. She reacted just as a cowardice predator would.  Trust me when I say I am quite familiar with them having studied these people for years. However, I will admit I am perplexed as to why she sold herself out for the cost of a couple of Long John Silver Value Meals.

As for my friend? She is absolutely dismayed and exists without any hope for answers. She knows her dad is dead and she is forced to move on. She is aware her father suffered terribly but she will need to simply deal with that knowledge. She also realizes she cannot trust her instincts any quicker than she can trust a psychic. However, on an up note, it cost her nothing financially to learn that lesson. Somehow, I do not think that fact brings her any solace whatsoever.

In closing, I understand Ms. Brown has some staunch supporters out there. Interestingly enough most of them believe they too are powerful psychics. To those I say I would greatly enjoy it if you responded to this post and rallied in defense of your psychic friend. After all if history is any predictor, Ms. Brown will duck and cover as opposed to tackling any of these accounts on her own behalf. With that, she will need all the help she can assemble. Apparently, spines are not as easy to come by as PayPal accounts are in this day in age.

Now, if you are at a loss for ideas perhaps you can explain to our readers the concept of, "Even gifted psychics can have an off day.” Alternatively, maybe you could riddle us this. Why Ms. Brown contracted a 45-minute reading yet provided only minutes of that? Better yet, feel free to justify why your psychic friend felt so entitled to another's hard earned cash she wasn't willing to offer an apology let alone a refund. I would also like to hear your thoughts on ethical responsibility.

Guardian Angels

By Michael O'Brien

If there be Guardian Angels, who exactly are they?

I'm reluctant to relay my story for several reasons but mostly for fear of ostracism. Despite that I do take some comfort in the realization that those involved in the paranormal are typically more open-minded than most. In any event, it is my hope this story will open a new line of discussion within our community.

In this post I'd like to pose the question, "Who, not what, are Guardian Angels?" It's believed by many they are long since passed family members. Some surmise they are friends or acquaintances from a past life. Others postulate they are in reality, earthbound Angels that have yet to take human form. What I would like to suggest is a possibility few that I'm aware have discussed in-depth as of yet.

At almost five years of age my parents took our extraordinarily large family to Long Island Beach for a day of relaxation. Unfortunately the day would be anything but that.

Before I go any further allow me to say that I agree there shouldn't be any excuse for neglectful parenting. However, one can't exactly fault the naivety of parents in the early 70's for their transgressions. Especially those with enormous families who managed to lose only one child once in their history. Nonetheless, that's exactly what occurred on a Autumn day on a New York beach.

As the story goes I wandered off from my parents while at the beach and ended up in the ocean. While I have no recollection of actually entering the choppy tide, I do remember being submerged in the water. I also recollect the undertow seeming to grab hold of my tiny ankles and insist upon dragging me deeper into the oceans depths.

To this day I can clearly recall grasping the sand, rocks and twigs on the oceans floor in panicked desperation. With every firm grip I believed it would pull me forward to shallower waters. Much to my terror, I realized that what I thought was a solid grasp was actually dissipating between my fingers in rapid succession. First the sand, then twigs followed by the slight rocks. Once again I felt myself being pulled deeper into the briny, murky depths of that chilly northeastern ocean.

The last thing I recall wasn't drowning or feeling the peace others speak of but lying beach side on my tummy. What's more, feeling exhausted and overheated and as if my skin and tongue had dried and cracked. I also recollect feeling like I'd just been rattled from a deep slumber. At least the sand, salt and sun in my eyes did their best to offer me that impression.

Next I remember brushing my dark strands of hair off my cheek and away from my eyes. I recall my confusion as I realized they had dried and adhered tightly to my silt covered face. Somewhat shaky I attempted to lift myself with my elbows. As I did I immediately felt a soft hand press gently between my shoulder blades. It was if I was being told to stay still where I was for awhile. I complied without question.

When my eyes finally adjusted I managed to gaze up at the person who had gestured me. This was the first time I saw her. Almost clearly, if not for the blinding sun that hovered steady behind her.

Standing before me was a woman so tall and beautiful I remember being damn near awe struck by the sight of her. Albeit a fleeting thought, I do recall thinking how much I desperately wanted to touch any part of her. The tails of her flowing gown, her long black mane that hung like a pendulum down her chest or her pale ivory skin, even her dark thick brows. I just didn't have the strength. Unfortunately I could only stare as I watched her clearly then fade in and out in broad, wispy strokes. In any event, I felt completely safe with her and on some level, I knew I knew her.

As I lay there motionless for what seemed to be some time, I noticed she made no sound whatsoever. Nor did her smoky, translucent robes that flapped unrestrained in the breeze. She simply stood there above me watching me, waiting for me. Finally she knelt down, smiled and offered me a slight upwards nod over her left shoulder. It was as if to tell me it was time to return to where I came from.

Again, she spoke not a word and neither did I. I recall I rose unsteady to my feet and visually scanned the shoreline before me. As I recognized miniscule flickering police lights far off in the distance, I decided to make my way towards them.

Even though I wanted to spend all day staring at her or maybe even playing with her, I walked on. I turned around only once to see her again. Perhaps I was making certain she was real or maybe I knew that was all the time I was going to be afforded by her. Either way, it was during that last glance that she placed her index finger to her lips as if to say, "This will be our secrete." I didn't quite know why all though I nodded in the affirmative and wobbled away. No, "Thank you," no, "See you again," nothing. I simply walked on.

I've thought about this encounter many times throughout my young and adult life, careful not to distort that memory in any respect. I also kept that secrete I made for as long as I could. It wasn't until I was in my mid twenties that I finally told my best friend about this encounter.

Just prior to disclosing this, my best friend, my partner and myself had a group portrait taken together. Four weeks later our photo was ready. As our portrait was unveiled by our artist my knees instantly weakened and my body swayed. I began to perspire and tremble and my mouth felt as dry as it did that ominous day on Long Island Beach.

There she was, right before me in the center of that painted portrait. Her long raven hair draping off her right shoulder down the middle her chest, her deep dark eyes, her thick brows, her ivory skin. It was her! It was me!

I'm aware of how terribly arrogant this account sounds but I was exactly the woman I saw that day I should have drowned. The woman who saved me that day was me and I was positive of it.

I'm just as confused as most right now. How did I spend my life looking in a mirror performing incidentals such as brushing my teeth or hair and not realize who I was? Yes, I should have recognized who that woman was years ago but I honestly never did. I swear, I just never put it together.

Perhaps it's because I look at my outer shell and seldom, if ever, take a moment to truly gaze upon who I genuinely am? Or perhaps I fail to see myself through the eyes of those who perceive me with absolute precision? After all, had I told my best friend about this experience sooner, I'm certain she would have pieced this mystery together for me.

With that, I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this type of encounter. An encounter where they believe they somehow managed to save themselves from certain death. Or if they've ever heard of this experience through family, friends or their paranormal research.

The only other account I'm familiar with concerns a woman who claims she attempted suicide at fourteen unsuccessfully. Much later in life, she attempted to take her life again. However, this time she reports she was stopped by her fourteen year old self. What's more, she claims her younger self put her to bed and hid the sleeping pills from the older self. She reports that only a empty medication bottle lay on the nightstand beside her the following morning. She also claimed her younger self left her grandmothers ring thought by her to have been long since lost on that same night stand. For what it's worth, her experience was the catalyst for my writing this post.

So, is it possible to be your own Guardian Angel? If we can believe in reincarnation, life after death, alien abductions, shadow people or even Doppelgangers for that matter, why not? Is the possibility of you being your own Guardian Angel that far out of the realm of possibility?

Or was this entire experience nothing more than a hallucination of a five year old child who went an indeterminate amount of time without oxygen? Additionally, was the second account simply an inept woman who believed she saved herself as opposed of accepting her reality? That she botched yet another suicide? Or perhaps she was just to frightened to preform the act itself? In any event, I'd love to hear other accounts or perspectives on this topic. Positive or negative.